Financial guidance from three fathers: Enduring principles and antiquated directives
Navigating finances as adults often starts with the whispers we overhear on our way to school or the silence that surrounds money at home. Our parents' views on debt become the default settings in our financial lives, shaping our beliefs and practices.
I chatted with two finance experts and reflected on my own journey to explore the best and worst debt advice we've received from our dads. Our stories reveal how financial wisdom, especially around borrowing, can offer both enlightenment and guilt, protection and pressure. And more importantly, these stories give us a chance to reassess unforgettable lessons for a new economic reality.
Rita-Soledad Fernandez Paulino is a money coach, educator, and podcast host dedicated to helping first-gen wealth builders achieve financial security without compromising their well-being. As the founder of Wealth Para Todos, Soledad specializes in guiding BIPoC, women, and LGBTQ+ individuals toward financial independence using a holistic approach that blends personal finance education with self-care.
Lessons learned from pop: Sometimes the best financial advice isn't about math but mindset. I was five months into building my coaching business when I complained about the business debt I had accumulated. My dad looked at me and said, "You control your schedule. You have freedom if you choose to use it." This revelation helped me view debt as a tool, neutral until I gave it purpose.
Kellye Guinan, a loans editor at our website, grew up with the same advice in many forms: "Avoid unnecessary spending. Live within your means." Her father's advice stuck, and it helped her build enough savings to tackle unexpected expenses and lend a helping hand to friends in need. Over time, she's come to realize that patience with money iswhat builds true financial resilience.
For Shannon Martin, our insurance writer, her father's practicality stood out: "Only use a credit card if you can pay it off in full each month." Watching her parents manage their finances with cash, one Ethan Allen piece at a time, left a lasting impact, especially when she began tackling her own credit card debt in adulthood.
Lessons left unsaid: The silent treatment around money during our upbringing can create a financial education gap, as was the case for Rita-Soledad. The only message she absorbed was to do things herself, often leading to delays in seeking help when needed. Guinan's father was adamant about keeping credit cards at arm's length, a strategy that set her back as she missed out on opportunities to build credit early on.
Martin's father's risk-averse nature had its drawbacks, especially as she ventures into the world of real estate and multigenerational wealth. She's learned to balance her father's conservative approach with her own willingness to take calculated financial risks.
As we mature financially, many of us are redefining responsible money management. Soledad has kept the belief that resourcefulness matters, but she's let go of the idea that stretching a dollar is always better than spending it. Guinan has found a balance between living below her means and embracing credit cards as a resourceful tool. Martin is learning to balance stability and risk by teaching her daughter about the importance of money management.
Earlier generations' caution was often rooted in love—teaching us to be self-reliant, avoid overspending, and avoid risky decisions to protect us. As we reassess these lessons in today's complex financial landscape, we can honor our fathers' intentions while shaping a relationship with money that fits our lives.
Education-and-self-development plays a significant role in personal finance, as Rita-Soledad Fernandez Paulino, a money coach and educator, emphasizes the importance of blending personal finance education with self-care. (Education-and-self-development, personal finance)
The lessons passed down about personal finance, such as avoiding unnecessary spending and living within one's means, serve as essential resources in building resilience in unexpected financial situations. (Personal finance, education-and-self-development)
